«The dry rustle of blood does not settle,
And there is no name, no sound, no cast for you».
Osip Mandelstam, «For not being able to hold your hands...», 1920
Instead of conversations with taxi drivers, there are whispered discussions in train cars. Not arguments, but discussions. By chance, a neighbor in the "Sapsan" turns out to be a diligent YouTube viewer and can therefore be sincere in conversation. A large modern company, which from the very beginning of its existence worked with European counterparts. Colleagues are going to an off-site meeting from Moscow to St. Petersburg. Almost everyone in the company, she admits with quiet horror, including those who interned in Europe, is for the war. In the logic: «We cannot be bad». How many times this has been said in random dialogues and even more so in group discussions (which are focus groups) of sociologists. How many times after this one had to clutch one's head in despair, because against these endless «we were attacked» and «it turns out, «grandfather» was right — now we are being bombed», there are no arguments, they simply are not heard and, most importantly, they do not want to hear.
Another trip on the same train. A same-sex family, as it is now customary to joke, grandmother, mother, daughter. Announcements are made traditionally in Russian and English (after all, there are guests from "friendly" countries, Chinese or Arabs, viewing the beauties of St. Petersburg and Moscow). The mother quite seriously: «Why are they making announcements in English, they should be in Chinese».
We were in other years, as the red-bannered choir of our establishment claims, dependent on the West, and now no one is ashamed of their dependence on China. China is better than Europe... The dependence of the younger brother on the older becomes in its own way servile: billboards with «Favorite quotes» of Chairman Xi appear on the streets of Moscow. This somewhat resembles the «eternal friendship» with Chairman Mao, which later, however, was replaced by decades of confrontation, sometimes turning into armed conflict. In those very years when the Soviet Union had two enemies: Damansky and Nedomansky. The island where the border conflict took place, and the Czechoslovak hockey player who transferred the revenge for the 1968 invasion onto the ice.
A serious French political scientist, who has dedicated her life to studying Russia, argues fiercely with me: «This is not support!» Okay, not support. Its imitation, transitioning from imitation to complete submission to the rules. Passive conformity turning into active. «We will have to go through this anyway», — writes the administration of one of the Russian schools to parents when children, all children, are forcibly driven into the «Movement of the First». This is not authoritarianism, this is a sign of a totalitarian state. Let it not be support, but ordinary totalitarianism.
The Duma votes unanimously for special accounts for «foreign agents», including the «anti-war candidate» from «New People». Persecution of certain groups based on class, race, and other characteristics is also totalitarianism. And there are quite a few such groups here — from child-free and migrants to «undesirables» and «foreign agents». Late USSR did not allow itself such things, and it is considered a totalitarian state. In the case of special accounts — and this is perfectly understood by the silently silent Constitutional Court — there are violations of several articles of the Constitution of the Russian Federation, which are directly applicable. First of all, part two of article 55: laws that cancel or diminish human and citizen rights and freedoms should not be enacted. Including the diminishing of freedom of creativity (art. 44), the right to work (art. 37), the right to life (art. 20), not to mention freedom of speech and thought (art. 29). The diminution of personal dignity is prohibited (art. 21), coercion to renounce one's opinions and beliefs (from the same 29th), propaganda and agitation inciting hatred and enmity towards certain groups (also 29th). All citizens of the Russian Federation are equal before the law (art. 19).
A friend tells about an event where his historical-publicistic book is also presented. A deserved and respected person in his profession, who has done much for the development of historical science, but holding positions, begins his introductory speech with words about the need to «achieve victory in the Special Military Operation». No one pulls his tongue. There will be no sanctions against him if he does not say these words. But he says them.
The presentation of a historical book by a well-known author in a large bookstore in Moscow is canceled. The author is lied to that there were calls with threats. The presentation is canceled.
A respected professor from St. Petersburg, not a «foreign agent», but with a reputation as a conscientious liberal scholar. He is fired from a former liberal university, presentations of new books are canceled with the words «but you understand». An innocent discussion with his participation in a historically glorious place in St. Petersburg is allowed by a retired distinguished lady who became the «president» of a museum-educational institution associated with one of the greatest and most tragic names in Russian literature, but is prohibited by the new director, a student of the distinguished lady-«president».
The God-bearing people joyfully turn into a rocket-bearing people after the tests of the «Hazel». A former colleague sends a telegram recording of a song «There is nothing better in the world than to f... (obscene word) Kyiv with a rocket». Moscow State University, deep knowledge of Russian literature, musical education, the highest level of qualification in his profession — all this is about him.
No, no, of course, this is not support. It's just so. They are afraid. They are mistaken. Or they are «justincase». This term, like the phrase «alcoholics of cowardice», was coined by Yevgeny Yevtushenko in his time. No, this is not the vegetarian «justincase» — this is worse. This is conscious submission to immoral and illegal rules, this is complicity. A sign of totalitarian power, totalitarian consciousness, totalitarian behavior.
There is no end in sight. It is getting worse. It provokes depression in friends and colleagues who stubbornly try to do something inside the country. Sometimes already clinical, with hospitalization. There is a feeling of a lost struggle when having «carriage disputes» with this well-dressed, polite, armed with smartphones and laptops public surrounding you in the «Sapsan» is useless. We do not know their views. But we do not want to start a conversation with them. So my neighbor and I have a quiet conversation about her company, where everyone supports, in a whisper.
I would tell her about another company where young lawyers sitting in a modern newsroom are all for Putin, but — as an obligatory addition — also for «Hamas» against Israel. However, we already need to get off at the platform. Here some professors are waiting for me in a convenient place where we will have the opportunity to discuss the processes taking place in the country from a scientific point of view and not even in a whisper. This is no longer a carriage dispute, although it is not much different from a quiet carriage conversation full of inner despair.
This is initially inspiring. But then it leads to depression. Especially since upon returning to Moscow, upon exiting the carriage onto the platform, it turns out that tests of the «Hazel» have been conducted in combat conditions. Another acquaintance, a professor and expert on Mandelstam, sends his lines in WhatsApp:
«And arrows fall like dry wooden rain,
And other arrows grow on the ground like hazel».
However, something needs to be done, to fulfill one's research and journalistic duty. There are not so many of us here, on this side of the new Iron Curtain, but not so few either.
* Andrey Kolesnikov is considered a «foreign agent» by the Ministry of Justice of the Russian Federation.